I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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