I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
