Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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