i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
