we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
