my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The best revenge is premature balding
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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