I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
