he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
