how can u be prego again
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
