Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize