You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I am naked and annoyed.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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