Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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