We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
