Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
