her vagine was all disorganized.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
