is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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