She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize