Its about making memories worth repressing
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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