Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
