There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize