He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize