I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
