is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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