There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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