And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
