you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
