yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
