well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Watching her eat just hurts me
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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