The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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