Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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