so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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