youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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