Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's shark week go big or go home
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize