drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
