She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I am available for nakedness
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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