I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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