I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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