Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
