I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
that is very illegal...i love you.
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