we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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