i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize