My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
