all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
