I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
