Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
