Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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