Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I believe in your delicious
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
