I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
