whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize