They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
