oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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