he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i came on her dog
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Randomize
