i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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