I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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