so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
