the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
