you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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