I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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